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How to Have More Empathic & Compassionate Conversations (2)

In our previous post, we talked about how to actively practice aware listening. In this post, we will discuss aware speaking. 

Read more: How to Have More Empathic & Compassionate Conversations (1) ≡ Know99

Conscious Speaking

Being a great listener is only one aspect of mindful communication; you must also be a thoughtful speaker. Strive to consider the effect of your words and consider what you will say before you speak. Also, you must be able to detect the reactions of others around you as you talk, adjust, and use this knowledge to find your way through encounters.

The term “mindful speaking” or “mindful talking” describes this component of mindful communication. We’ll look at various methods you might employ to make your communication with people better.

Considering Your Words

Before speaking, give yourself some time to think about what you want to say. We already established that it’s normal for us to react or advance the discourse. Fighting this impulse and learning to communicate more carefully entails stopping to think before you speak.

You may prevent making unreasonable, emotional comments and potential misunderstandings by pausing before you speak. You may practice effective, perceptive, peaceful communication by doing this. Allowing the speaker to finish their sentence and giving yourself some thought before answering are two strategies that are closely related to this one. You cannot be a mindful speaker or listener without the other, which is why it is essential.

Be Considering While You Talk

The ability to think quickly on your feet as you talk, evaluate how your words are being understood, and make necessary adjustments is perhaps the most challenging aspect of mindful communication. Gaining proficiency in mindful listening and thinking before speaking should provide you a solid basis for mindful communication, making it simpler for you to control your speech in the middle of a phrase and develop your ability to read people’s non-verbal cues.

Understanding non-verbal cues is essential for navigating conversation, but it’s something that most people do unconsciously. To improve as a speaker, you must increase your awareness of body language and the information it may provide.

Developing Compassion

Becoming more compassionate and empathic via mindful communication enables you to form more authentic and meaningful connections with people. Compassion cultivation is a distinct aspect of mindful communication, yet it significantly depends on your capacity for attentive listening. Understanding others’ perspectives and exhibiting compassionate behavior are essential components of skillful communication, which is centered on careful listening.

To better understand and relate to people, try asking yourself, “What would I do/think if I were in this person’s position?” You get a sneak glimpse into other people’s perspectives as a result, which should improve your understanding of your peers, as well as your capacity for empathy and effective communication.

The Three Light Approach to Conversational Mindfulness

The Three Light Method is a method that can help us communicate with others with more awareness, understanding, and compassion by using traffic light symbolism to illustrate shifts in conversational patterns and emotional states. Each light in the Three Light Method denotes a distinct communication state:

  • Red Light : The red light represents poisonous certainty, which is a metaphor for when our communication system breaks down. While in this mode, we are quite closed-minded and inclined to exclude others, which might be detrimental to our relationships and general wellbeing.
  • Yellow Light : In contrast, the yellow light denotes a sense of uncertainty or fear. This condition typically arises when we are unsure about how to react to a sudden shift. High levels of anxiousness might push you into the red zone, making the yellow zone extremely risky. You can learn to move from this to the green zone, the optimal condition of communication, though, if you grow better at handling worry and ambiguity.
  • Green Light : The green zone enables us to communicate naturally using our awake body, compassionate heart, and unrestricted intellect. As we are less judgmental, more open to learning, observant, and empathic in this condition, communication is much improved. We may attain this level of communication by using the approaches described above to become more present and conscious in our regular encounters.

The Three Light Technique is excellent for monitoring your interpersonal communication. Utilize this approach to identify when you are about to shut down (red zone) or are feeling nervous (yellow zone), and then use it to return to a better condition, or the green zone.

The Importance of Conscious Communication

It might be difficult to master mindful communication since it takes a lot of practice. The development of effective communication skills takes into account a variety of factors, including nonverbal communication, mindful speech, compassion, and empathy.

As we’ve spoken about, talking consciously enables you to be more compassionate and sympathetic, which results in deeper and more sincere connections with people. Our regular relationships tend to be quite superficial and are hampered by thoughtless communication. These conversations may be made more interesting through mindful communication, which also helps you to forge new connections and strengthen existing ones.

Mindful communication may benefit you in both your professional and personal life in addition to improving your social and personal interactions. Being alert and present during talks helps you stand out from the crowd, which provides you an advantage in settings like job interviews or business meetings. Understanding the idea of mindful communication is important, but the greatest way to get better at it is to use it as frequently as you can in everyday situations. So good luck and pay attention!

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